Yay!

It's my birthday! :D

Dear Faithful Readers

(I know I'm supposed to have some kind of punctuation after "Readers," but I just can't do it. The comma just looks silly hanging out in the subject line. English major now sucking it up and moving on.)

I was able to apply for unemployment benefits a couple weeks ago after the debacle but that doesn't mean I actually got them. I found that out a couple days after I filled out my claim and didn't get any money. I'm now on week three of what might be a six-week adventure through the bowels of the workforce development office. Apparently I have been assigned a "deputy" who will determine if I had "good cause" to turn down a job offer. Never mind the fact that said job wouldn't have paid enough to live on. At the minimum, $120/week before taxes wouldn't have even paid my rent, let alone luxuries like crack and hookers utilities and FOOD. I really enjoy the fact that the state took money away from a person who already didn't have a job. I started having fantasies last night about the things I will buy when I once again have disposable income. So far, I've come up with good bread and dress shoes.

I visited the main unemployment office last week to see if there was anything I could do about this mess. The answer was no. Luckily, the woman I spoke with was nicer than Bitchface McSmirksalot, but she still didn't seem to care that I didn't have any income coming in. Were it not for this part-time gig with King V, I don't know what I would do. Apply for welfare, maybe.

So far I'm surviving. I get paid on Friday, which is also my birthday (squee!), and I'll be able to pay some bills. I don't know how things will play out after the end of the month. I'd like to be able to buy my family some Christmas presents and do silly little things like keep my phone service turned on. Despite this ongoing decline of funds, I'm oddly calm. Perhaps I'm just basking in the thick haze of denial; perhaps I know that I've done what I can for the time being. I have to wait for said deputy to review my claim and play God. If my benefits get cut off permanently, I fear for the government. King V is livid and is talking about hiring a lawyer. I'm interested in contacting a local reporter who routinely goes to businesses who've screwed people over and makes them uncomfortable and sometimes violent on camera. Hopefully neither of those 'whistleblower solutions' will be necessary. If they are, however, I'm ready for my close-up.

Speaking of reporters, King V went to a monthly luncheon today for public relations professionals and ran into a woman who used to be on the local news. He told her my "work refusal" story and she requested a copy of my resume. She and I are going to sit down sometime next week and talk about career opportunities. I know what she looks like from her years on television. I figure I'll make it easy for her to find me by arriving a few minutes early and lying down on the floor of the local Starbucks where I will piteously cry, "Please!" Bad idea?

Huzzah hurrah blah blah blah

Sometimes telling the truth can really bite you in the ass.

(Hi, by the way. You look fabulous. I love what you've done with your hair! Also, sorry for the absence. I hit a little blogging streak for a minute and then just kinda, um, stopped. But I'm back!)

On Sundays, I log onto a state-run website and answer fun questions about my job search so that I can continue to receive unemployment benefits while I float aimlessly through the ether of rejection after rejection continue applying for Careers That Sound Made For Me (But I Might Be Delusional). Also known as 8,000 People Competing For One Job, Good Luck Getting An Interview Looooozer.

So last week, I selected 'yes' when asked "Did you turn down an offer of work?" This, children, has proven to be a big, big mistake.

I had the tiniest feeling that I shouldn't mention the job offer since it hadn't led to anything. At the same time, I figured that the company who offered me the job might have to report my refusal to some state agency something something blah blah blah and that the unemployment people wouldn't hesitate to come after me for accidentally on purpose forgetting to mention I'd received a job offer. And then I'd have to deal with lying and stealing from the government -- sorry, hang on:

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

-- and I just decided to tell the truth up front.

The deposit is generally in my account sometime on Tuesday. It hadn't shown up by Thursday, so I paid a visit to the unemployment office. I mean, I enjoy going there SO much, so why not?

I told an oh-so-helpful employee at the unemployment office about my occasional desire to be truthful about stuff and she smirked at me. That was fun. It's been a hell of a year; she was really taking a chance that I wasn't going to come over the counter and choke her. She followed up her smirk -- which I called her on -- by saying something about people making things "harder for themselves" and told me this was "one of those fine line times." She made her point clear by looking at me hard and repeatedly making a slicing motion back and forth with her hand. Fine line. I'm not telling you to lie but you should have lied.

Madam Hasajobbutsucksatit then told me things were pending and that I was going to get a letter about my dun-dun-dun WORK REFUSAL. (Heathen! Bastard! Who the fuck do you think you are to turn down a job? *smirk*) I asked if there was anyone I could call and she gave me a number that was "not well known" but was printed on numerous scraps of paper in a basket by her computer. She highlighted an 800 number, which I know from experience never connects to an actual human, and that was it. No hollow thanks for coming in or trying to be a somewhat-honest citizen. No words of comfort for potentially having no source of income. Just that smirk that I still want to slap off her face.

This will be a 'telling' weekend. I might receive the alleged letter tomorrow but I'm certainly not holding my breath. Sunday might bring back the magical "renew your claim" link on the unemployment website. If not, I'm kinda fucked. And not pleasantly, slowly, with oils or props, or anything else interesting.

That said... honestly? I'm kind of at a "whatever" kind of place with all of this crap. I'm stepping up my job search a little more and I can live if my cable and cell phone get shut off. I'm surviving on my own and I'm probably about 48 hours away from visiting the unemployment office again. I'll just be happy right here and right now, in the moment, knowing I have some money in my pocket and the knowledge to get me out of this mess. (It's not too hard to remember the lesson I've learned when the answer is "lie.") Besides, my repeated visits to the Department of All Things Unhelpful is just fodder for my book.

Thoroughly obsessed

Gods, Goddesses, and Gays everywhere, please forgive my sins. Only recently did I discover just how awesome Kristin Chenoweth is.

Yowza in 3... 2... 1...


Check out her performance of "Maybe This Time" on Glee. Skip ahead to the 11:48 mark to hear her sing. I get chills every time I watch the video. C-h-i-l-l-s.

Forgot to mention...

...I've become a whore for Project Runway. A couple months ago, I was watching a lot of Will and Grace and Frasier reruns on Lifetime. They were promoting the SHIT out of PR, so I tuned in for the premiere, thinking it was going to be campy and full of suck and then I'd never watch it again. Annnnd it totally wasn't. I'm actually interested in seeing the other seasons. For someone who fears her sewing machine (electric pedal makes stitches go zoom!), I'm awfully invested in the show. Anyway. Here's a picture of the 16 designers who've been featured on this season's show and my brief opinions of them:


As you were.

Random: A continuing trend

Self-portrait, 10/21/09

* The place that I interviewed with a couple weeks ago offered me the job. After much consideration, I officially turned it down today. I spent about three years living on $10/hour, which is what the job pays, and I just can't go back to life that way. I had to take into consideration the possibility that I'd have no additional income after the end of the year and knew immediately that I couldn't survive on the part-time hours the company was offering. I was told during the interview that benefits weren't available, but later found out I'd be entitled to vacation time and entrance into their retirement-savings program. Better than nothing, but I was going to need to be promoted to full-time to get health insurance, etc. The company listed their range of part-time hours from 12-39, so there's a good chance I would've lingered at almost-full-time just long enough to lose my mind. I just have too many things to pay for and pay off, among them the student loan debt that threatens to suffocate me every time I think about it. I just can't keep deferring Sallie Mae. I deserve a full-time position with full benefits instead of shooting myself back to 2002. As thrilling as it was to choose between paying rent and, oh, buying groceries or attempting to keep all the utilities on at the same time, I don't want to live that way again and I don't have to. It may be a risk to turn down a job when the economy is crap but I've made a decision that's made me happy (at least on the 'not settling' front) and now I can continue to pursue a job that's full-time and offers benefits from the get-go. A novel concept, I know.

* Speaking of novels, I'm going to participate in this year's National Novel Writing Month. To date, I've written two (baaaaaaadterribleawfulmykingdomforaneditor) novels and have started two others. (Fifth year! Wow.) I love the discipline the month offers and have mentioned the idea to King V and Queen S. King V wants to keep working on his writing, Queen S isn't doing much as far as I can tell, and they both write some pretty good fiction. I'm glad to know that a number of my friends, including Steele (*waves hi*) are going to be writing this year. I have no idea what to write about but I've got, what, four days to come up with some kind of idea and outline and whatever... I can write a third bad novel. Not a problem.

* When I got home today, I had an "apology" from my upstairs neighbor for last night's vacuuming. It started with an apology and then things got weird. (Trend! Trend!) She said her apartment is infested with fleas and that she's been cleaning and laundering nonstop to combat the problem. Having been there all too recently -- and finding the problem sadly reoccurring now that Gizmo has ditched her flea collar; thanks a lot, cat -- I was a bit sympathetic but still really can't figure out why Nutjob McCleanfreak thought it was cool to bust out the vacuum at 1:30 a.m. Her note says, "I thought you slept in the front of the house..." (which, in Crazy, apparently means "Can hear no sound one room away, please dust-bust until dawn) and ends with "...and that was why I couldn't leave the porch light on." Um. What? Oh... right. A couple weeks ago, we had an altercation-via-note (Trend! Trend!) about her leaving the porch light on in the middle of the night. I was routinely turning it off before bed, not realizing she was leaving it on so she could see the porch when she came home from her second-shift job. She snarked at me for turning the light off and I responded that I wasn't doing so out of malice. Now she leaves our foyer light on all night and I can sleep without an oppressive light shining into my room. But apparently I'm a bad person for not wanting her to vacuum when most people are asleep because I got my way a couple weeks ago. I know it will shock you terribly that I've upped my search for a new place to live. (I've only been bitching about this apartment for three years; how about some forward-moving action, Maxine?) I want to save the money to get my windshield wipers fixed (yep, still broken) and then save money for a deposit and moving costs.

* Blah.

A few of my favorite things

Irritating, fun

Irritating: Having to bang on my ceiling at 1:30 AM to get Betty Off Her Crocker to stop vacuuming. Seriously -- grow some consideration, buy a clock, sleep with one eye open. Stupid wench.

Fun:



Irritating: The fact that the OTHER wench in my life, the chick who rear-ended my car, lied about sending me a check for the damage she inflicted. It's $250 that I could very easily put to use. I've mentally spent it several times over. I'm not entirely sure what my next step is but this isn't over.

Fun: Fantasizing about keying her car. Repeatedly. The fantasizing, not the keying, although that'd be fun too.

Irritating: Being awake at 2:30 AM.

Fun: Reading a weight-loss study help wanted ad on Craigslist that said participants would get "$100 at the start of the study and a pill" (something allegedly related to acai berries) and after a month of pill-taking and before/after photograph shooting, would be compensated with an additional $1,500. Riiiiiiiight.

Irritating: The past six weeks that I've spent working for King V. (Yeah... I know.) Sienna found a job where she can actually put her Master's degree to use (!) and King V offered me her part-time hours (15/week) "if I was interested." Uh. Yeah. Although they MIGHT put a crimp in my sitting-at-home-and-watching-TV-while-halfheartedly-searching-for-a-new-job hours. I'm irritated because nothing has changed (see also: my clenched teeth), his business has only gotten worse, and I hear about how little money he has EVERY SINGLE DAY. He let me know a week or so ago that he might not be able to keep me on after the end of the year. Awesome -- I might get laid off by my father TWICE in one year!

Fun: More money, a sense of purpose, a reason to shower every day, the weekend thank you goddess for the weekend.

This is what it's like in my head

After talking to King V about his declining business and how it seems to get a little worse every day:



King V and I talked for an hour about one of his two remaining clients and how both are essentially pushing him out the door without actually saying so. He's been all but removed from doing their public relations because both apparently, after several years of working together, realized that he charges them for stuff like meetings.

Ummmm... duh?

I brought up the notion that King V phase the business out by next April, which would mark the beginning of the business' 20th year. He wants to make it to 2011, which would be a full 20 years. I can see how that's important; I just don't see how it's feasible. He's scraping by as it is and I, for one, don't want to watch the man suffer for 18 more months. He could start selling off office furniture and equipment. He and Queen S could go ahead and start drawing Social Security. Considering they're both 65, they'd be entitled to something like 98% of the money anyway and would get the other 2% when they turn 66. Their house and cars are paid off. They've got savings and other money that I know exists but don't know much about. (Good.) I don't think that King V retiring would be the worst thing in the world. And, as I've mentioned to him before, he could add a stove and a shower to the basement and turn the 1,200 feet of office space into a bitchin' apartment that they could they rent for a nice chunk of change -- GUARANTEED income instead of this "Will I have enough hours to bill X and Y client??" bullshit. King V and Queen S live close to four colleges that I can think of off the top of my head, one of whom attracts rich kids with probable trust funds and the desire to live in a funky basement space with glass-block windows and a kindly, older interracial couple as landlords. (Land...people. Whatever.) I know that tricking the basement out would be an investment of time and money, but the return would basically be immediate.

I just want things to end pleasantly and under King V's control, not because he received a letter from one or both of the firms announcing that they'll now be handling their marketing on an in-house basis. Neither of the firms are industries that have been, as far as I can tell, bashed against the proverbial head because of the economy tanking, so they don't care that King V is sitting in his office, worrying his last few nickels together and all but begging the firms' personnel to respond to his emails. It's shitty and things COULD turn around -- there are a couple potential clients in the pipeline -- but it just doesn't look good. Same post, different day, I know, but still. Sigh.