Tidbittles

* I have a mostly-minor-but-still-occasionally-coughtastic chest cold. I have sexy phlegm.

* Did I tell you my car got broken into a couple weeks ago? Someone tried to jack my radio. They didn't succeed, although they excelled at throwing my crap all over the seat and driver's side floor. I'd been lax about bringing the face from my stereo in the house. No longer. Side dish of paranoia, anyone?

* Did I also tell you that I saw one of my friends choke? She's okay, thankfully, but she started coughing, turned bright red, slumped towards the chair next to her, and then, oh yes, fell onto the floor where she was kinda spazzy for a second until whatever had caused her to choke had moved on. The suspect was a lemon seed from her iced tea but her own chest cold and a host of other factors, like dehydration because it was eight million degrees outside, didn't help. It all happened in about, ooh, a minute. I'm exceedingly happy that she's okay because it was scary as shit and I wasn't even the one who couldn't breathe. I'm also glad that I was able to react instead of just sitting there watching her flail and that the restaurant's staff was ON. IT. when I yelled for help. She and I talked it out for the next few hours. I remember just repeatedly shaking my head in disbelief. It was all surreal, but the weirdest part was when she 'came back' and her face was just blank. She sat up from her place on the floor, looked around confused (she thought she'd been dreaming and was wondering what the crowd of people around her were doing in her subconscious) and then looked at me. I just kind of tilted my head in that curious dog way like, "Hellooooo..." and then she looked around again. She looked at me a second time and I could see that she was present again. I explained what happened, calls to 911 were cancelled, she took her seat, and lemon seeds were glared upon. We went to see Toy Story III, which I loved, which turned out to be a good idea because the laughter was therapeutic. And then I went home and burst into tears.

* Water aerobics was a nightmare tonight. Two male lifeguards were swimming laps and being obnoxious. They kept asking the female lifeguard on deck about the quality of their respective strokes (eye roll) and were just kicking and splashing so fiercely that water kept flying over the lane line and disturbing our non-water-churning activity. At one point, partially because I was struggling to do stomach crunches and simultaneously not drown, I yelled, "COULD YOU NOT??" at the lifeguard who was sloppily attempting the butterfly. Sadly, it just made me look crazy. I submitted a comment card to the management, making sure to acknowledge that I know I was already in the pool and thoroughly soaked but HELLO, asshole alert. The kicking, splashing, smacking (I got bumped into twice, once by each jerk, after yelling at the one guy) went on through the entire class, after which the open waters filled with a number of space-invading children. By the time it came to write out my comment card, I was feeling a little Towanda. And also about 80 years old for complaining about young, arrogant dickweasels, but still a tiny bit vindicated. We'll see how the Y "we claim to cherish respect and responsibility but we're really just a gym full of testosterone-laden creeps" MCA responds to my comments.

* I'm in the middle of my fourth week as Vox's calendar editor. It's data entry and pays next to nothing, but I still like it. It's two days a week, I get a check for 32 hours on Friday (Dear Sallie Mae: Your money is coming. Please don't come to my house with bats and bruisers. Love, Max.), and it's just awesome to be one of the gang. I sat in on my second editorial meeting this morning, which makes me feel terribly important. We start work soon on an annual arts guide, which is just a gigantic calendar, so I'm looking at accruing some more hours.

* I've applied for a part-time job with a local park, which would bring my weekly hours to full time if I got it. I also need to apply for a couple of communications jobs whose ads I've come across but I want to start writing better cover letters. Well, really I just need to figure out a different formula, I guess. Again, I know I'm competing with a shit-ton of people for jobs, but I've done the creative, tailored JUST for Job XYZ letter, and I've done the took-ideas-from-job-search-sites-online mostly-a-form-letter letter and neither seem to be garnering much attention. I need to find a way to stand out, like the lady who used snowflake stationery to send King V a cover letter. Or the guy whose cover letter was on pink paper and had been recycled -- that is, he'd taped a small piece of equally pink paper over the inside address of a different company. Okay, so I want to be memorable in a GOOD way.

* Deeply, deeply in like with ABC Family's new show, Huge, starring Nikki Blonsky. The urge to add indigo streaks to my hair has returned. I was a tiny bit 'eh' about the pilot but really liked the second episode. Hopefully it stays true to its rebellious elements. A line I liked from last night's episode, from when Blonsky's character is confronted for destroying a fellow camper's fashion magazine: "When I see propaganda that I know is destroying girls' brains, it's my duty as an angry feminist to destroy it." YES.

* Finally: Came across some Mitch Hedberg tidbits earlier today and laughed out loud. He was a brilliant comedian. This is my all-time favorite joke of his.