So this woman I recently met, the organizer of that poetry slam group I saw perform, posts the following as her Facebook status: "Hey, don't let me forget to call Thelma." I knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but I responded, "Didn't she die in that car wreck?" (Thelma? Louise? Grand Canyon? Hello? ::taps microphone::) She responded, "Um, she's my 88-year-old grandmother who sent me money and a cake for my birthday."
Of course she is. Is she also diabetic, lonely, going senile, and you're her only remaining grandchild because the rest died in that freak explosion at the church where they were all making cookies for the orphans with terminal illnesses? Gosh, I hope so. Even better, has she lost all her hair because of the chemo, had to put down her cat that lived an amazing 22 years, and has no hands so she knits your Christmas scarves using her teeth and a crochet hook that she holds between her toes? I'm holding out hope! Side note: What kind of status update was that anyway?
I apologized. I said ouch and sorry and that I would probably soon be making an appearance on Failbook. I'm going to leave it at that (i.e., I don't need her to forgive me so I can move on). We've met once, I don't know her (CLEARLY), I said I was sorry, I meant it. Am asshole; next? It would even be okay if she unfriended me; Facebook wears me OUT. I want to unfriend all the people I used to know in high school, people with whom I still don't have anything in common nearly 20 years later. Adios, residual teen angst!
I've discovered something rather glorious in the past year or so. Creeping over 35 and turning 36 has apparently flipped some kind of switch. My filter is disappearing and I'm starting to say more of what I mean instead of holding back words that marinate in my brain and keep me awake at night. I... kind of like it. It doesn't mean that I stood up from the coffeehouse table where I was sitting on Sunday and screamed at the disaffected teenage barista who spent half her shift over-blending coffee drinks and the other half laughing every 24 seconds at things that weren't even funny... but I thought about it.
3 comments:
I probably would have gone with "and tell Louise I said Hi!" myself. :-)
Yay! Have a seat in my boat! :)
Wait til you hit 40! The filters go away completely. :) In some ways it's good to say what you mean- keeps things square. No need to be cruel about it, though some people use it as an excuse to do so; you can tell the truth and still be nice. Mostly.
We all have those moments where we're kind of a dick. I hope the girl doesn't unfriend you.
I hear you about FB. On the one hand it's great, but on the other hand, OMG there's volume. Replies and replies to replies and OMG I just can't keep up.
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