Holiday weekend = blur

The following people, places, and things (ooh, noun-y) are on notice:

1. Arts job HR people

As much as I enjoy twisting in the wind, I might have to untether myself from this potential opportunity with those fateful words: "I need to be taken out of the running." One of my coworkers has put in his notice and won't be replaced, which means more opportunity for me. Also, I'm due to get a raise soon.

2. March of the Penguins

Saw this on the Hallmark channel over the weekend. Wonderful. I loved it. So cute, penguins waddling all over the place. But don't show me footage of penguins freezing to death and a mournful mother penguin nudging her newborn that fell victim to the harsh weather. It results in crying because I can't stand to see animals in pain (despite the fact that I'm still a carnivore; hmmm) and crying over a penguin documentary? C'mon. I can't even blame it on PMS.

3. Gizmo

Keep using the corner of my mattress as your personal scratching post. Go ahead. I dare you.

4. My futon

Thanks for being in the way when I was hurriedly putting on my shoes this morning and letting me crack my it's-not-so-goddamn-funny-after-all bone against your unforgiving wood frame. My elbow is still throbbing. Of course I had to touch it to make sure, which only made me wince and hate you, Futon Straight from Hell, even more.

5. The house I can't afford

Is wonderful. I saw her on Saturday when I went driving around with my realtor. It's about three times the size of what I have now and has beautiful hardwood floors and window seats and built-ins where I can easily see my books and a grand staircase and enough bedrooms for me and a guest room and an office and even a nursery if I get crazy and go forward with My Occasional But Amazingly Powerful Desire To Have a Kid and a dining room and the upstairs has new carpet and the rooms are painted in pretty pastel colors and I want her. And she's out of my price range. But maybe if I get a raise -- and stop buying groceries or putting gas in my car -- I can afford to buy her. I can make it happen.

6. House elves

Thanks for messing up my house while I'm asleep. Who keeps throwing stuff from the couch onto the floor and not picking it up right away? Who hasn't done the dishes or taken out the (thankfully paper-related and therefore not stinky) trash? The house elves.

7. Therapy

My soon-to-be-ex therapist who has decided to move out of state and transfer her client load to a complete stranger whom I have yet to meet. I've gone from sad to angry to indifferent to sad and now I'm back to angry. I don't want to work with someone else. To quote Adrian Monk, "I like change. I just like it when it happens to someone else."


8. My unfinished novel

I was completely serious about finishing my novel, but it didn't happen. I didn't write one word. Not one. And I'm okay with it. I told Casey about not finishing and how I wanted that Special Internet Certificate and she said she'd make me a certificate, which really helped me put things in perspective. The world isn't going to end because I didn't write a novel in a month. The world won't end even if I don't finish the novel in the next year. But I think I will. Because I like my characters and I want to find out what happens to them.

9. Thanksgiving, etc.

Turkey Day was nice. I hung out with my parents and a friend of mine and ate too much and watched hours and hours of Monk while rifling through old magazines looking for good collage clippings. The four-day weekend went by amazingly fast and now I'm back at work in nylons and shoes and outnumbered by boys. And I forgot to bring breakfast with me. And I have to go to the electric company and pay my bill in person or I'll be without power as of tomorrow morning. And I'm frustrated. Because I could barely get out of bed this morning. And I'm hungry. And my elbow hurts. Is it Christmas break yet?