Big 10 Friday

As you might have guessed, Sexual Fantasy Thursday isn’t going to come (ha!) to fruition.

I thought about it.

And then I thought about it some more.

I couldn’t really come (ha!) up with anything that exciting.

Does anyone REALLY want to read erotica that includes the phrase “Hold me!”?

No. I didn’t think so either.

Seriously, I couldn’t come (ha!) up with enough fantasies to justify a weekly series.

And besides, disclosing my sexual fantasies to the Internet? Isn’t that Paris Ho-ton’s Hilton’s job?

Maybe I’m too much of a secretive Scorpio.

Or maybe I’m not being true to my supposedly all-lusty-all-the-time sun sign.

Whatever the case, I’ve decided to offer Big 10 Friday instead.

I’m a big fan of making Top 10 lists of everything from grocery items to random quirks about myself. See also: 100 Things.

So …the first installment of Big 10 Friday is …

10 Songs That Make Me Want to Repeatedly Stab a Fork Into My Eye
10. “Are You Happy Now?” by Michelle “Hotel Paper? WTF?” Branch

9. “Look at Me” by Geri “Has-Been Spice” Halliwell

8. “Hero” by Enrique “Still Managed to Bag a Hottie” Iglesias

7. “Pretty Young Thing” by Michael “It’s All Been Said Already” Jackson

6. “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” by Britney “Madonna/Whore” Spears

5. “Blowing Kisses In The Wind” by Paula “It Was Kind of Pitch-y” Abdul

4. “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine “Wish She’d Gone Down With the Titanic” Dion

3. “Hero” by Mariah “Look At Me! Look At Me! LOOK.AT.ME.GODDAMMIT!” Carey

2. “Leaving Las Vegas” by Sheryl “I [heart] Elvis Impersonators” Crow

1. “Everybody Hurts” by R. “If You Aren't Suicidal Already" E. “You Will Be By the Time This Song Is Over" M.