Uproot

I might be moving across the country.

I've been talking about leaving River City for, oh, 11 years. Might be time for action.

This year has been both wonderful and stagnant. After nearly two years in a soul-sucking job that left me snarly towards creating anything, I got back my urge to make art. I've written some things I'm really proud of and both made and sold art, which means it's possible / I can do it! / chugga chugga choo choo it's past time for more action.

I'm tired of stagnation. I can't imagine anyone that wakes up in the morning and thinks All right! Another day of no movement!, but that's how I've been acting. I might finally be able to hear the messages the Universe has been sending me. Things I've been putting off doing are starting to seem easier. It helps that I finally have some deadlines in place, which always propel me towards action. In a couple months, I'm hosting a sleepover weekend for my 40th, which means I'll be taking a sandblaster to my apartment. Not many people need two months to prepare their homes for guests, but I know myself and have factored in time for procrastination. A LOT of time.

After that, I celebrate Christmas with my fam and see Mack Daddy Smooth (a.k.a. Mr. Too Busy To Skype With His Sister) on his annual visit home. After that, barring any job offers (HAHAHA), I'm free to go. I have to stick to my job search for my sanity and to fulfill the requirements of receiving unemployment insurance, but a small, dare-I-admit-it part of me wants the job thing to not work out here so I have a "reason" to leave. Whatever white lies I have to tell myself to get moving, eh?

If I do end up relocating -- and I really hope I stick to this, especially since the move to St. Louis was a bust -- I'll be close to Los Angeles, which factors greatly into my becoming-a-writer-for-the-Ellen-show fantasies. I'll be a few hours away from a number of friends who live in San Francisco. I'll be a hell of a lot closer to water and mountains than I am now. Because I'm exhilarated and terrified, I'd like to make a pre-move, haven't-packed-a-thing promise to myself to give it a year before I give up and come back to River City. As the saying goes, feel the fear and do it anyway.

That said, I don't think I'll end up running back to River City. I know it's time to go. I have a place to stay when I get to California. Most of what's important to me will fit in my car (cats included). Things like small bookshelves and lamps will probably go to new homes via Freecycle so I don't have to worry about storing and moving them later. No sense in dragging across the country what I can buy fresh when I get my own place. Or, given the fact that rent is about three times what I pay here, !my very own room! in someone's house.

I've been a little hesitant to mention this change because I don't want it to become just one more of those things I get all excited about but then don't do. But I've told a few folks here and I want to share the news with whoever comes around these parts because I'm excited. I also want to be held accountable for all the times I've lit a fire under my butt but then run screaming towards water Yosemite Sam-style with my burning biscuits.

Stay tuned for more developments. In the meantime, I think 'new year, new state' has a nice ring to it.