"I'm not even supposed to BE here!"

I use my oven as an additional heating source.

I've enjoyed the first two episodes of Kathy Bates' new show, "Harry's Law." One of my favorite lines was "Maybe there’s a better world out there… one without people.” It spoke to my occasional misanthropy. UPDATE: Done watching. In the third episode, a guy Shawshanked his way out of prison with an all-too-predictable speech, which was on top of other predictable and LENGTHY speeches that I actually liked during the first two episodes but wore thin by episode three because platitude platitude platitude SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. -inhaaaaaaaaaale-

Someone I know from Michfest posted this on her Facebook page the other day: "If I bring forth what is inside me, what I bring forth will save me." It's apparently from a fortune cookie, but I really like it.

I'll find out in March if I got that grant I applied for back in December. I knew this originally, but thought the notification period was the first week of March. Turns out it's the THIRD week. Woe! I am slain!

As soon as I read about Sam Kean's book, The Disappearing Spoon and Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World From the Periodic Table of the Elements, I felt there were more than a few nerds in my life who might like it as a gift. As I too am a nerd, I want a copy.

One of the most beautiful poems I've ever read is "Woman" by Audre Lorde:

I dream of a place between your breasts
to build my house like a haven
where I plant crops
in your body
an endless harvest
where the commonest rock
is moonstone and ebony opal
giving milk to all of my hungers
and your night comes down upon me
like a nurturing rain.

Ever since I turned 37, the number has been popping up everywhere. I'm not sure yet if these are just freaky coincidences or if they all mean something to The Big Cosmic Cheeseburger in the Sky. I looked up numerology info but didn’t get many answers.

• I frequently look at the clock when it is __:37. Day or night, doesn't matter.
• I got back 37 cents on a purchase a couplefew days in a row.
• A friend's Facebook status update had 37 comments.
• A character in a movie announced she had 37 emails.
• One of my favorite blogs is 37 Days.
• I was zoning out while driving (Safety first!) and when I zzzzed back to myself, I was just passing 37th Street.
• I sent a tweet to TBS about how often they bump Friends from their afternoon schedule, after which I had 37 characters left. After hard days at Vox, I rely on Friends to cheer me up . When it's not on... well. ::REEREEREEstabstabstab:: I fully admit I have a problem. Saying that will hopefully prevent me from being committed to a nice, quiet facility with a name like Whispering Meadows, although a vacation WOULD be nice.
• I noticed 37 written on several boxes at the food bank where I volunteered.
• Though it thankfully doesn't apply to me, there's always this. Dialogue is NSFW. Unless you're self-employed or work in a brothel. It counts because Kevin Smith is one of my favorite directors and Clerks is A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

I don’t know what Tumblr is and I don’t care enough to find out. [Update: I know now.]

I want there to be a milk chocolate hall of fame.

When I was a kid, my parents would set the timer and we would engage in 10-minute clean-ups. I hated every second of it. Ten ENTIRE minutes! One night, when I surprisingly didn't get smacked for being such a smart ass (even though my parents only spanked), King V said we'd do a 10MCU when we were finished with dessert. I said something like, "Well then I'm going to eat my cookie extra slowly." Not surprisingly, it didn't go over too well. I'd just like to admit now that my parents were right. I now engage in 10- or 15-minute clean-up sessions and it really helps keep the Board of Health at bay. Now if I could just string a bunch of those minutes together and get everything clean at ONCE. It would help there be fewer "Clean ALL the things?" days.

I will warn you now: Don't grab a pink deodorant at the store and just assume it's some baby powdery scent. You too could end up with Coconut Lime Lady’s Choice gummed to your pits.