Random pudding

-- Rejoined Twitter. Had fun* following the Kevin Smith debacle and now looking for more people to follow.

* Fun equals a mishmash of emotions ranging from pure glee that Smith kept coming back at both Southwest Air and his critics to a nauseating combo of shock, awe, horror, and sadness as I was reminded how virulent some people can be about the mere existence of fat people. The above link, if you haven't clicked on it yet, leads to a lengthy blog post, but it's worth reading, as is Kate Harding's article about the incident and more.

-- Still waiting to hear from my alma mater about the communications job I applied for. Was instructed by HR how to track my materials. (Right now we're on 'Referred.' We're waiting for 'Interviewing.') Instructions on the website said it could take several weeks for someone to get in touch with me. It's only been two weeks, so it's okay that I need to wait a little longer. Also waiting to hear from an alternative newspaper called Vox about a writing job, but I only turned that app in a week ago. Hopehopehope. King V has cut my hours from 15 to 10 and they're about to drop to five, which, honestly, seems a little pointless, but I'll take the extra bit of money. I'm racing towards a year of unemployment (mostly unemployment... underemployment...) and would really like to at least get an interview before I sound the horn on that crappy anniversary.

-- Got my windshield wipers fixed finally. The heavens may now open and dump upon us for lo, I need no longer worship at the altar of Rain-X. (That shit WORKS, yo, but obviously wipers are better.) I wanted to get them fixed this week because (a) I had finally set aside the money to get it done and (b) I'm headed to Detroit this weekend and enjoy seeing the road when I drive. It's the little things that give me pleasure in life.

-- Enjoying the shit out of the Olympics, perhaps for the first time in my life. Watching the skiing has terrified the everlovin' CRAP out of me, especially when lifelong athletes bite it hard and go sliding down the mountain at many miles an hour, but when they make it all the way without mishap... whew. It's pretty amazing. I mean, it's amazing, PERIOD, especially coming from someone who sucks ass at skiing. I've gone several times in my life and I don't think any of my outings ended successfully. Case in point: I was in an enrichment program during elementary school and got to skip classes and go skiing with the other nerds some of my peers. I had never skied before; thankfully, we spent half the day on the bunny slopes, having our shoulders nearly dislocated by grabbing onto the... draggy motorized rope thing... to get up the tiny hills. During the second part of the day, we joined a class and actually went skiing. I kept falling down because me + anything besides shoes on my feet = disaster. At one point, I somehow ended up with a leg behind my head. All I remember is that it hurt (derrrr) and I was, hand to God, moved to a class for mentally challenged kids. And I wonder why I have issues with my self-esteem.

I continued going on the nerd outings and went skiing during high school outings. Memories: Standing up off the chair lift, falling IMMEDIATELY on the hard-packed snow and ice, and hitting my head so hard I'm not sure how I'm able to sit upright today. Also: Getting stuck at the top of a hill and not knowing how I was doing to get down. I probably should've kicked off my skis and walked to safety, but I didn't. Skiing slowly wasn't always an option; my skis would cross when I tried braking and I would flip the fuck OUT because I was, of course, ABOUTTODIEOMGOMGOMG. Luckily, a classmate saw me and helped me down the Hill of Death. He skied in front of me, going backwards (!), and helped keep me calm when my skis inevitably crossed. Needless to say, I think that's the last time I purposely strapped anything slick to my feet. Besides wet Birkenstocks.

-- Finally reading Anne Lamott's Blue Shoe. Plan to continue this afternoon while I wait for the Olympics to come on. As much as I'm enjoying them, I'm also looking forward to the return of Mercy and Modern Family.

-- Olympics II: Figure skating? Holy cow, those performances have been unreal! Skating is another sport I suck at, thankfully with fewer mishaps than skiing. Blades, wheels, fiberglass? None of them belong on my feet. Unless I'm sitting down, surrounded by cushions. And bubble wrap. And pudding.

-- Called a gym that is thankfully not the YMCA (where my water aerobics instructors were Dragon Breath, The Self-Loathing Whiner, and The Homophobe) and found out it's only $16 to join and $35/month for an individual membership. They offer w.a. classes and two free sessions with a personal trainer. I was told that one of the sessions can be a fitness assessment, complete with tape measures and fat... something. Fat monitoring or something heinous that I *know* will involve a scale, a glance at the horribly unrealistic BMI ranges (See also: Kate Harding's Illustrated BMI Project), and abject self-loathing if I put myself through it. Thankfully, the assessment is optional and can be transferred to a regular session. I'm not looking to get ripped (unless alcohol is available), but it would be nice to work with someone who has an idea about muscle groups and weight training. Ceasing to exercise and hurting my knee last summer (which has, thankfully, been healing nicely) presented me with unexpected and rather heinous mobility issues, which are not going to continue happening in Ms. Dangerous' world, thankyouverymuch. I promise that is the last time I will refer to myself in the third person. I swear. On Bibles. With pudding!