Sometimes telling the truth can really bite you in the ass

On Sundays, I log onto a state-run website and answer fun questions about my job search so that I can continue to receive unemployment benefits while I float aimlessly through the ether of rejection after rejection continue applying for Careers That Sound Made For Me (But I Might Be Delusional). Also known as 8,000 People Competing for One Job, Good Luck Getting An Interview.

So last week, I selected 'yes' when asked "Did you turn down an offer of work?" This, children, has proven to be a big, big mistake.

I had the tiniest feeling that I shouldn't mention the job offer since it hadn't led to anything. At the same time, I figured the company who offered me the job might have to report my refusal to some state agency something something blah blah blah and that the unemployment people wouldn't hesitate to come after me for accidentally on purpose forgetting to mention I'd received a job offer. And then I'd have to deal with lying and stealing from the government and I just decided to tell the truth up front.

The deposit is generally in my account sometime on Tuesday. It hadn't shown up by Thursday, so I paid a visit to the unemployment office. I mean, I enjoy going there SO much, so why not?

I told an oh-so-helpful employee at the unemployment office about my occasional desire to be truthful about stuff and she smirked at me. That was fun. It's been a hell of a year; she was really taking a chance that I wasn't going to come over the counter and choke her. She followed up her smirk -- which I called her on -- by saying something about people making things "harder for themselves" and told me this was "one of those fine line times." She made her point clear by looking at me hard and repeatedly making a slicing motion back and forth with her hand. Fine line. I'm not telling you to lie but you should have lied.

Madam Hasajob then told me things were pending and that I was going to get a letter about my dun-dun-dun WORK REFUSAL. (Heathen! Bastard! Who the fuck do you think you are to turn down a job? *smirk*) I asked if there was anyone I could call and she gave me a number that was "not well known" but was printed on numerous scraps of paper in a basket by her computer. She highlighted an 800 number, which I know from experience never connects to an actual human, and that was it. No hollow thanks for coming in or trying to be a somewhat-honest citizen. No words of comfort for potentially having no source of income. Just that smirk that I still want to slap off her face.

This will be a 'telling' weekend. I might receive the alleged letter tomorrow but I'm certainly not holding my breath. Sunday might bring back the magical "renew your claim" link on the unemployment website. If not, I'm kinda fucked. And not pleasantly, slowly, with unguents or props, or anything else interesting.

That said... honestly? I'm kind of at a "whatever" kind of place with all of this crap. I'm stepping up my job search a little more and I can live if my cable and cell phone get shut off. I'm surviving on my own and I'm probably about 48 hours away from visiting the unemployment office again. I'll just be happy right here and right now, in the moment, knowing I have some money in my pocket and the knowledge to get me out of this mess. (It's not too hard to remember the lesson I've learned when the answer is "lie.") Besides, my repeated visits to the Department of All Things Unhelpful is just fodder for my book.