My friend Mymsie's most recent post included the phrase fragile lucidity and it reminded me of my psychopathic love for Queensryche in the early 90s and their song Silent Lucidity. And then I remembered lying on the floor of my dorm room with a couple friends, a boom box next to our heads, listening to SL full blast (for which rudeness I have been karmically kicked in the ass enough times with the noisy neighbors thankyouverymuch I was 18 years old let it GO now, Universe) ... and then rewinding the tape and starting over. I was in luuuuv with the band's lead singer, Geoff Tate. Boy howdy, how my tastes have changed.
Annnnnnnd playing catch-up...
Great weekend. Hot as hell. Didn't get a nap. Still tired. Got a new tattoo, a picture of which I can't find at the moment. This is what it looks like. It's on the back of my neck. I'll post pics later.
Dude, I'm just here to pick up a club sandwich
A young woman enters a bar and grill on an average Saturday afternoon. She seats herself at the bar and places a carryout order. To her right, an elderly heterosexual Caucasian couple and to her left, a 40-something clearly-inebriated man who quickly reveals that the four or five teeth left in his mouth will probably soon rot out.
Drunk guy to white couple: Blah blah blah.
White couple: [uncomfortable silence and half-nods]
DG: Blah blah blah conspiracy blah blah.
White couple, apparently finally and thankfully finished with their meal, prepares to exit. DG stands and moves behind the now-standing couple. Maxine and the bartender, who has been calmly standing behind the bar washing a glass, both visibly tense.
DG, while shaking the man's hand: It was very nice to meet you, sir!
The elderly gentleman, surprised: Oh! Uh. Yes. [thinking] Today of all days I don't wear my medical alert pendant. Dammit.
DG escorts the couple to the door, which is thankfully only two steps away.
DG: Wait! You forgot your to-go box!
Elderly woman who is clearly trying to make a hasty exit: [hesitates] Oh ... well ... okay.
Elderly man, next to door, wearing neck brace: [thinking] LEAVE IT, WOMAN! WE CAN GET ANOTHER HALF-EATEN REUBEN!
DG returns to his seat. Max now has no buffer. Insert ominous music here.
DG: [scans Max] I like your 'do.
Max: [stiffly] Thanks.
DG: Are you from Jamaica?
Max: Nope.
DG: Blah blah blah something something something. Hey, did you know Hitler was a Jew?
Max: Really.
DG: Yep! And he was a homosexshul -- a fag --
Max: [thinking] (A) Clarification wasn't necessary and (B) This is reaaaaally not the best time to get into a discussion about homophobia.
DG: He killed his own people! He was born blond and blue-eyed! And so was I! [reaches in back pocket, produces driver's license, shows it to Max]
Max: [barely glancing down] Neat. [cuts eyes at bartender and thinks, "Some help here please?"]
DG: You know. It was a shame what they did to Martin Luther King.
Max: Yep. [thinking] HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A G-D SANDWICH AROUND HERE??
DG: And you know ... like ... Hitler ... he married Eva Braun and then he poisoned her the next day and she died.
Max: [barely imperceptible nod]
DG: And he slept with everybody! Hitler ... was confused.
Max: [smiles genuinely, thinking] I am totally going to blog about this.
* * * * * * * * * *
My second and final housesitting gig of the summer wraps up this evening. I shall return to Sterling and Steele's house after work, let Killer out (making sure this time he's on his leash, as I thought I clipped him to it this morning but in my barely awake state apparently I clipped air and then let the dog go running out the door; he's fine, BTW), feed Pucker and Purse, grab my few remaining possessions, and alight for the evening. You know. Back to George, who is barely speaking to me after this, my second rarely-at-home venture (she's giving me the cold paw!), and Gizmo who still approaches me but just seems really confused. Like Hitler.
5 comments:
Hanging out at the Elbow Room again I see. ;-)
I have Silent Lucidity on iTunes. I can burn you a copy, along with many other oddities from the 90s.
I didn't know you got a new tar-too - exciting! Did it hurt? Chi is tea, right? :P
M: A little, but not nearly as bad as I thought it might. I actually need to get it touched up a little, so I'm glad it was relatively painless. I remembered to breathe deeply, etc., so that helped. I am Jack's healing wound.
star: Yeah, you know me too well. I love the freaks. :)
I would LOVE to have SL on CD. I actually thought about buying Empire off Amazon. One glance at the track listing brought back all kinds of great memories. 1990. Wow. :)
That tat is bitchin'.
And you are a marvel of tolerance for neither freaking out and running away, or punching crazy man in his crazy mouth.
Just dropping by to say hello. I did a little perusing of your 100 Things lists, and I found myself nodding in agreement with many of the entries, particularly #73 and 88 on the first list, and #51 and 95 on the second. Thanks for making me giggle a little. I'll be back when I have more time to waste at work!
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