Birthday: many moons ago
Birthplace: hospital
Current Location: work
Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: espresso
Height: 5'9"
Right-handed or left-handed: Right, although King V tried valiantly when I was a baby to make me one of his people by taking a spoon from my right hand and putting it in my left.
Your heritage: A little of this, a little of that, a cupful of sarcasm. And maybe some oregano.
The shoes you wore today: Big black winter boots even though I don't really need to wear them anymore with all the melted snow.
Your weakness: butch women
Your fears: Snakes, Republicans, right-wing nutjobs. And snakes. I really, really don't like snakes.
Your perfect pizza: sausage, fungus (mushrooms), black olives, deep dish
Goal you would like to achieve this year: I want to buy a big girl bed. And maybe a house. And some sheets. And I'd like to meet someone special who likes to read.
Your most overused phrase
Thoughts upon waking: Fuck!
Your best physical feature: my bedroom eyes and my bazillion-watt smile
Your bedtime: anywhere between 10 PM and midnight-ish
Your most missed memory: This question sounds like it came from the same book that spawned “Did someone put something in your luggage without your knowledge?”
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke
McDonalds or Burger King: I should really stop eating fast food. Thanks for the reminder.
Single or group dates: Single. Easier to flirt when no one is eavesdropping.
Lipton ice tea or Nestea: I have iced tea about once a year. So I have no clue. Maybe Lipton.
Chocolate or vanilla: mint chocolate chip
Cappuccino or coffee: nonfat, sugar-free vanilla latte
Do you smoke: only when I am set aflame
Do you swear: all the motherfucking time
Do you sing: often
Do you shower daily: usually
Have you been in love: yep
Do you want to go to college: already done gradgimitated
Do you want to get married: yes
Do you believe in yourself: yes
Do you get motion sickness: Yes. Please not to be shaking the Maxine.
Do you think you are attractive: sometimes
Are you a health freak: definitely not
Do you get along with your parents: yes
Do you like thunderstorms: love them
Do you play an instrument: not anymore
In the past month have you consumed alcohol: yes
In the past month have you smoked: nope
In the past month have you been on drugs: nope
In the past month have you gone on a date: nope
In the past month have you gone to a mall: nope
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten sushi: nope
In the past month have you been on stage: nope
In the past month have you been dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone skinny dipping: nope
In the past month have you stolen anything: nope
Ever been drunk: Well sure.
Have you ever been called a tease: No, but I was called a player once, which still confuses the poo out of me.
Ever been beaten up: no
Have you ever shoplifted: yes
How do you want to die: Peacefully, surrounded by female, nubile, plus-size virgins who are all in love with me and oh so sad to see me pass from this earthly plane. And they'll be holding flowers and playing harps. And my hair will look really, really good.
What do you want to be when you grow up: Definitely not a czarina, a garbage person, or homeless.
What country would you most like to visit: Spain
Things you like about potential dates/lovers/future stalkers:
Favorite Eye Color: dark
Favorite Hair Color: dark
Short or long hair: Depends on the person, but definitely NO mullets or rattails. It’s 2007, grrls. LET.IT.GO.
Height: tall
Weight: thick/curvy/voluptuous/something mama can hang onto
Clothing Style: Anything but name brand crap. I am NOT buying anyone a $75 t-shirt just because it says Polo or Fubu or whatever.
And some other random information:
Number of drugs you have taken: Today? Just coffee.
Number of CDs you own: I don't know. 50?
Number of piercings: Six (ears)
Number of tattoos: four
Number of things in your past you regret: I can think of a couple things I would have rather not done or said (okay, more than just a couple), but all those weird/surreal/crappy events made me who I am today and I'm generally fond of the person I am today, so I don't really regret anything. And anyway, it's not like I can go back in time and change it. And even if I could, it would probably be a bad idea because of the whole butterfly/wings rippling/tsunami effect that changing my decision might cause. You know. Like Quantum Leap. Starring me instead of Scott Bakula. Man, I miss that show.
What bill do you hate paying the most? Visa. I never make any g-d headway. I’m going to have to sell my firstborn to the bank to get out from under their thumb.
Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? No clue. My last girlfriend and I went to Denny’s on Valentine’s Day. DENNY’S.
Last time you puked from drinking? It’s been a long time. Maybe when I was 19?
When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never, but I did watch Coyote Ugly with a modicum of enthusiasm. That movie made me feel funny in my pants.
Name one of your first grade teachers? Can’t. I remember 3rd, 4th, 6th grade names, but not first.
What do you really want to be doing right now? I want to be in Provincetown with all my Michfest friends.
What did you want to be when you were growing up? Probably a ballerina.
How many colleges did you attend? Two, technically, but the school I graduated from is a satellite school of the other … so one. But two.
Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now? Because it’s a pretty shade of blue.
If you could move anywhere and take someone with you? San Francisco and I want to take most people I know, not just pick one.
First thought when the alarm went off this morning? FUCK ME. (Told ya.)
Last thought before going to sleep last night? I don’t remember.
Favorite style of underwear? Boy-leg panties/boy shorts or granny panties in wild and appealing colors. I used to favor thongs but those are frickin’ irritating now.
Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? I don't think about boys in their underwear.
What errand/chore do you despise? Cleaning the catbox and taking out the trash. I don’t know why. Neither one takes more than a few minutes.
If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery? I’d probably end up volunteering at a bookstore first.
Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in. “Get up early” only if I can tack on “…and go back to bed an hour later.”
Who is your favorite cartoon character? Daria from MTV.
Favorite non-sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? Talk for many hours while drinking many beers.
A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? I sometimes wake up acting out things I’m doing in dreams. The other night, I dreamt I was a cashier and in the dream, I was weighing grapes and then tapping keys on the register. I woke up to find myself tapping the wall like cash register keys. Good times.
When did you first start feeling old? When I was about 25 and a 19-year-old video game “aficionado” I was talking to didn’t know what Atari was. OUCH.
Favorite 80's movie? The Breakfast Club
Your favorite lunch meat? Um. Roast beef, I guess. But I also like turkey a lot.
What do you get every time you go into Costco? Never been.
Beach or lake? Beach.
Who do you stalk on MySpace? Tom
Favorite guilty pleasure? Stupid-fun movies like Bubble Boy and Bio-Dome.
Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Is Just One of the Guys bad enough?
What's your drink? Diet Coke. Ask a stupid question…
Cowboys or Indians? Native Americans
Cops or robbers? Cops, but only if I get to be Robert Goren on Law and Order: CI.
What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Ask for one. And if that doesn’t work, perform sexual favors.
Favorite childhood cartoon? Smurfs? I remember liking them A LOT.
Favorite late night after-party eatery? Ha! My “late nights” usually end around 11 PM or midnight, so I guess Taco Bell.
What was your childhood fear? Dogs.
Who from high school would you like to run into? Most of the “popular kids.” With my car.
What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? Been listening to CDs, so I’m not sure. The stations I have programmed are NPR, the alternative music station, the smooth jazz station, the mishmash 70s/80s/90s/today station, and the soft rock station.
Is it better to reign in hell or serve in heaven? What would I be serving? Do I get to wear an apron and put orders on that little spinny rack like Flo did for Mel? If it reigns in hell, doesn’t that mean it’s cooler? (Ah ha. Ha ha.)
Norm or Cliff? Probably Cliff. I see myself in his extreme dorkiness. I’d be the type to suffer hysterical blindness on a date too.
The Cosby Show or The Simpsons? Vintage Simpsons.
Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Going to Denny’s on Valentine’s Day.
What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with? All the gays, closeted and non-closested. Especially the closeted ones because I’m curious if my predictions are correct.
What famous person would you like to sleep with? k.d. lang
Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? Uh … during a demonstration, yes. What else would I use the extinguisher for? Wait. Don’t answer that.
Last book you read? Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies
Do you have a teddy bear? I do! His name is Fritz. He sits in my spare/art room. He wears a Xavier t-shirt and stares blankly into space. I don’t know what to do with him, but my brother gave him to me, so I’m not giving him away. The bear. Not my brother.
Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? In my car while driving around the city on the interstate.
Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? Malibu.
At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Relationship.
Do you go to church? Nope. I like my spirituality without walls, thankyouverymuch.
Pencil or pen? Depends. Am I doing math? Pencil. Am I doing just about anything else? Pen.
Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Has anyone seen Ferris? “My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.”
What do you want to achieve in life? I want to climb Everest! Ha. NOT.
How old are you? I’m 33. I recently had a five-second freak out over turning 34 this fall, although I don’t really know why.
Where do you see yourself when you are 40? Quite possibly living in a blue state with my girlfriendpartnerwife, our Subaru, our matching Birkenstocks, and our 2.5 alternative-insemination-produced children. And a beagle named Max. And my cats. If I don’t kill them for continually getting up on my desk and eating my plants.
Why do you fill out these surveys? Because I am addicted to external validation in the same way that I am reliant on oxygen to live.
3 comments:
i THINK i know where you found survey #1 ... nice job :-)
I have a three-legged beagle who howls in the morning. Interested?
Oh, and... I'm taller. ;-)
No, you can keep your three-legged dog, but thanks. :) And dude, you're a boy ... I'm not surprised that you're taller than me. :]
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