September 7, 2006
An apology
Dear Squidget, the Penultimate Toe on My Left Foot:
I am so sorry.
I had to attend a luncheon today and I wore heels.
My elevated backsideyness shoved you into the front of the shoe. Repeatedly.
You’ve been used to being exposed to the air and no shoe shoveyness for quite some time and now you’ve acquired a big red spot that detracts only slightly from my oft-complimented pacific blue toe polish.
Said red spot might be the precursor to a blister. Or it might just be your tiny, angry, red fist, shaking at me in fuuuuuuuurious anger.
Whatever the case, rest assured that I will return to wearing sandals tomorrow. And once again, I’m sorry.
Maybe I can walk to my car barefoot tonight. But then I might get glass or sharp things stuck in Larry and Bob, the soles of my feet. And that’s another letter I’ll have to write.
Sincerely,
Max, Who Is Tall Enough Without Heels
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
My little toes on both feet lay underneath the next toe simply because as a kid I was too shy to tell my parents that my shoes were too tight or too small. Oh, the things we put our feet through.
With winter just around the corner, our poor toes will be shoved into horribly tight shoes for months on end. How do they survive this torture???
My mother suggested I wear socks and sandals throughout the cold months. Apparently she wants me to reclaim the "100% Dork" title I carried throughout junior high.
Post a Comment